Maineiac

--Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

--At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

--A lady placed an ad in the classifieds: "Husband wanted." The next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

--The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

--When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

--A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." - "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."

--The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

---You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

--Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.