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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

The Perfect Woman

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The story is told of a chance meeting between 2 men who had been college classmates. They went to a nearby sidewalk cafe where they drank tea together & talked about old times & about their present life situations.

"How is it that you haven't yet married?" one asked the other.

To which his friend replied, "To be perfectly honest, I must tell you that I spent years of my life looking for the perfect woman. In Barcelona, I met a very beautiful and extremely intelligent woman and, for a brief time, I thought I had found the ideal person to be my wife. But soon I discovered that she was terribly vain. Then, in Boston, I met a woman who was outgoing and generous. 'Here is the perfect woman,' I thought at first. But soon I discovered that she was flighty and irresponsible. I continued my search, but always found something missing in the women I was attracted to. Then, incredibly, one day I met her! I actually met her. She was beautiful, intelligent, kind, generous, and had a great sense of humor. In short, she was perfect."

"Well, then." said the friend, "What happened? Why didn't you marry her?"

To which the other replied, "I soon discovered she was looking for the perfect man."