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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

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  • If you throw a cat out the window, is it considered kitty litter?
  • If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • Why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?
  • If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  • If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
  • If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
  • Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow?Only to be troubled and insecure?
  • Is there another word for synonym?
  • Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
  • When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
  • When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
  • Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
  • Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
  • Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
  • Why do they report power outages on TV?
  • What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
  • Is it possible to be totally partial?
  • What's another word for thesaurus?
  • If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make it stick to the pan?
  • Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  • Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
  • If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day,365 days a year. why are there locks on the doors?
  • If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
  • If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
  • When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
  • If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  • Why is the word abbreviation so long?
  • When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
  • Can a fat person go skinny dipping?
  • Why do you need a drivers licence to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
  • Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
  • Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
  • Have you ever imagined a world with out hypothetical situations?
  • How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?
  • Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship,its cargo?
  • You know that little indestructable black box that is used on planes. Why don't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
  • Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?