* A cannibal is someone who is fed up with people.
* A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
* An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
* A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
* A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
* A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a "brief."
* A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
* A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
* A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.