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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Signs Your Accountant is Nuts

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  • In several places on your tax forms, he's written, "Give or take a million dollars."
  • Tells you to put all your money into British cattle futures.
  • You notice that his "calculator" is just a broken VCR remote.
  • Insists that there's no such number as four.
  • He laughed at the Bob Dole background check.
  • Counts family of squirrels living in your yard as dependents.
  • Advises you to save postage by filing your taxes telepathically.
  • Instead of C.P.A. license, he's got a framed photo of a shirtless Alex Trebek.
  • Demands that you call him the "Una-Countant."
  • He's got a 1040 Form tattooed on his arm.