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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Tried It Once

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An accountant was attending a tax seminar in Las Vegas. The lawyer sitting next to him was obviously bored with the pre- senter, and suggested the two of them slip out to the lobby for a cigar.

The accountant replied, "Well, thank you for the invite, but I tried smoking cigars once, and I didn't like them...I'll have to pass."

A few minutes passed, and the lawyer said, "This is a very tiresome presentation... how about we slip down to the bar and have a cocktail?"

The accountant replied, "Oh, I tried drinking once, but I didn't like it very much."

Finally, after about a half hour, the lawyer says, "Listen, tonight after the seminar a couple of us are heading to the tables to do some gambling. Would you care to join us?"

The accountant replied, "You know, I tried gambling once, but it just didn't appeal to me... but I'll tell you what. My son is flying in tonight, and he might want to tag along with you."

To which the lawyer said, "Your son? Let me only child?"