...Announces he just married a sheet of Marilyn Monroe stamps.
...It's been over three weeks since he cleaned his gun.
...Delivers the mail wearing nothing but bubble wrap.
...His new system: reach into the bag and whatever you can grab is yours!
...Just sits on the curb, tearing pages out of "Victoria's Secret" catalogue and eating them.
...He's been leaving most of the driving to his pet monkey, Lanaugh.
...Claims he's Elmo; demands that you tickle him.