Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Great Ways to Annoy Cops

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When the police pull you over and they ask, "Do you know why i pulled you over?" reply, "Because you like my groove thing."

When the police say, "We're giving you a ticket," plead insanity and try to bribe him with donuts you claim to have in your backseat.

When asked by a cop if you saw anything at the crime scene, look around suspiciously and keep stammering and denying you saw anything.

When a cop walks by you, yell maniacally, "I didnt do it!!!!!!"

If pulled over on Thansksgiving, wink at him and offer him a turkey leg.

Start a conversation with a cop, then in the middle of the conversation, interrupt him by saying, "So how many people have you framed?"