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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Redneck Fishing Secrets

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Two rednecks are fishing on their respective sides of the crick.

Just as soon as one redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank.

The other was catching nothing, so he yelled out, "Buddy, I'd sure like to be on your side of the crick!"

"Aight, tell ya whut, I'll shine my flashlight 'cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!" the redneck yelled back.

The other replied, "T'ain't no way, buddy. I know you think I'm a fool! When I get halfway 'cross, you'll turn your flashlight off!"