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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Do You Believe?

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The pastor was preaching his sermon at a river and announced, "One of our brothers is accepting Christ today."

The man about to be baptized was a man named Earl who walked down into the river. The pastor pushed his head into the river and asked him, "Do you believe?"

Earl came up with a mouth-full of water gasping.

The pastor dunked him down again and said even louder, "Do you believe?"

Earl came up with another mouth-full of water frantically gasping.

The pastor brought him down one more time and shouted, "Do you believe?!"

Earl came up, spitting, knocked back the pastor, and shouted, "I believe your doing you best to drown me!!"