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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Drunk Man at Baptism

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Once there was an old man wandering through the woods when he came upon a good old time Baptist Baptism in the lake. "Well" the drunk said to himself I guess to get to the other side of the river I need to talk to the man standing in the river. The drunk man moved closer and the preacher called him in the water "Sir", he said "do you want to see Jesus?" "Sure" answered the drunk still believing this was his only way to the other side. "Praise God" said the preacher and the drunken man entered the lake.

The preacher took and immersed the man into the water. Raising him up he ask the drunk Did you see Jesus?" "Uh no" said the drunk. "That is just fine, we will try again." And the preacher dunked the man again this time holding him a little longer. When raised up the preacher ask again "Did you see Jesus?" no sir I still did not." replyed the drunk. "That is alright we can try once again" And so the preacher dunked the man one more time, this time holding him down until he bubbled. "Did you see Jesus, son" ask the preacher. The drunk man gasping for breath this time reply's, "No, but let me ask you something, are you sure this is where he fell in at?"