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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

The Fence

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I heard this one in church this morning and thought it was pretty clever...

In the middle of a big field, there stood a fence where a group of people were gathered near the opening.

On one side of the fence stood Jesus who called to the group of people to come be with him. On the other side of the fence stood the devil, also calling to the group of people.

It wasn't long before some of the people went through the opening on Jesus' side...and some of the people went through the fence on the devil's side.

One man remained in the middle. He sat upon the fence trying to decide which side he belonged on while the two groups went their separate ways.

After a time, the devil reappeared, seemingly looking for something.

Spotting the man sitting on the fence, the devil called to him. The man shook his head and said, "I have not made up my mind yet. I haven't decided which side of the fence I belong on."

To which the devil replied, "Hey, you've already made your decision, you see, I OWN the fence."