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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
I'll Give You a Sign
A wife and husband are talking about death. They end up both promising to let the either one know when they go to heaven.
A month later the husband died.
About a week later, the wife is at home reading the newspaper when all of the sudden, the smoke alarm goes off. There was no fire so she called a repairman and he looked at it and said nothing was wrong with it.
The next day, the smoke alarm goes off again. She thought for a moment and said, "Okay, Honey, I know you're on the other side now," and the smoke alarm went off again!
The next Sunday at church, she told the pastor about the smoke alarm.
The pastor said to her, "Sweet child, I'm sorry to say this but if the smoke alarm went off when he called you, where do you think he's callin you from?"
