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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Little Johnny

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Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, flash cards, special learning short, everything that they could think of.

Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down and enrolled him in the local Catholic School. After the first day, little Johnny comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn't kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room and starts studying. Books and paper are spread out all over the room and Little Johnny is hard at work.

His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he is done, he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before. This goes on for some time, day after day while the Mother tries to understand what made all the difference.

Finally, Little Johnny brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table and goes up to his room to hits the books. With great trepidation, his mom looks at it and to her surprise, Little Johnny got an A in Math!

She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room and says: "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" Little Johnny looks at her and shakes his head no. "Well then," She asks "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it??"

Little Johnny looks at her and says "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."