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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

No Driver

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Several years ago the city of Birmingham decided to lease several English-style double decker buses to transport the Auburn and Alabama fans to the Iron bowl. On this bus, the Auburn fans were on the bottom level and the Alabama fans were on the top deck.

As we started off to the stadium, all of the Auburn fans were making a lot of noise yelling "War Eagle" and having a good time. We noticed that the Alabama fans were quiet. Not a sound was coming from the upper deck.

I decided to go up top and see what was wrong.  As I arrived up top, I noticed that all of the Alabama fans had their hands clasped on the rail in front of them and they all were white as a sheet. I was stunned. I asked them why they all were so frightened?

They replied with fear in their eyes, "WE DON'T HAVE A DRIVER!"