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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

The Alabama Jumper

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A farmer in Alabama was driving across a bridge in his pickup truck when he noticed a man standing on the rail of the bridge ready to jump to his death in the river below.

The man stopped his truck, ran up to the man, and said, "Hey fellow, why are you doing this?" The man replied, "Well, I have nothing to live for."

The Alabama man replied, "Well, think of your wife and children!" The jumper replied, "I have no wife or children."

The Alabama man then said, "Well, then think of your mother and father!" The man replied, "Mom and Dad passed on many years back."

The Alabama man then said, "Well, think of General Robert E. Lee!" The would-be jumper replied, "Who?" With that the Alabama man said, "Jump you stupid yankee, jump!"