Q. How do you keep Freddie Kitchens from hitting you with a football?
A. Wear a Bama jersey!
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Q. How did the Alabama student die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
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Q. Why do Alabama students have TGIF on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First!
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Q. Did you hear about the Alabama quarterback who tried to throw himself on the floor in a fit of rage?
A. He missed!
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Mom: Only 2 more minutes until 1998.
Dad: I'm going to bed.
Son: But Dad, you're going to miss the ball drop....
Dad:  Hey Son, I've seen it plenty of times..I'm an Alabama fan you know!!
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Q. What is the one thing that keeps so many Alabama football players from graduating?
A. CLASSWORK!
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Q. Did you hear about the Alabama fan who froze to death?
A. He went to the drive in...He sat through "Closed for the season"!!
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Q. How do you get an Auburn student off your porch?
A. Pay him for the pizza!
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Two Auburn fans have been walking in the woods for eight hours when they stop and one turns to the other and says, "I'm cutting the next Christmas tree we find - lights or no lights."
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Q. What's the difference between a University of Alabama sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
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