You're probably an Auburn fan if ...

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  • you can play the Auburn fight song using your armpit.
  • your wife's idea of cleaning house is throwing everything out into the yard.
  • the Roto-Rooter man stops by your trailer and asks, "What's that smell?"
  • you're a member of the Skoal Frequent Purchaser Program.
  • you looked up your family tree and your uncle spit on you.
  • you joined Alcoholics Anonymous so you can drink and use a different name.
  • you looked out for #1 and stepped in #2 !!!
  • you won't buy a Japanese car because you're afraid you won't understand what they say on the radio.
  • your kids go to a private school and they won't tell you where it is.
  • your Granny beats you in the tobacky spittin' contests.