- you know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- the mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
- there is only one shopping plaza in town.
- the municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
- the major parish fundraiser isn't bingo - its sausage making.
- it warms up to -35 degrees (Fahrenheit) and you go out in your short sleeves to wash you car.
- you drive for a mile on square tires on a -65 morning before they eventually become normal.
- when you have to put your sun visor down at 3:00 a.m.
- all of your relatives refer to you as "that crazy person that lives up there!"
- your kids think that you have to get on a airplane to go on vacation.
- you take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all the way to your wrists.
- you know that the term "Break Up" has more to do with the weather than personal relationships.
- your monthly phone bill is larger than your house payment.
- there is a bottle of Avon's Skin-So-Soft in your tackle box.
- you don't know anyone who doesn't own a 4-wheeler.
- you're outside at -40 below, shoveling snow in your shorts (well, you know it's a hassle putting on all those clothes for just 10 minutes).
- your friend calls you up and says, "Hey, I have some furniture for sale. Is there enough room in your igloo for it?"
- you are vacationing in Hawaii and a beautiful woman in a bikini walks by and you think, "Boy, I'd sure like to see her in a snowmobile suit!"
- you can see the road through the floorboard of your pickup truck.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
It is the state policy that emergencies are held to a minimum and are rarely found to exist. -Sec. 44.62.270. State policy.
Jan. 10 5:00 P.M. It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful!