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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Kansas is so flat that...

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  • when your dog runs away from home, you can watch him for three days.
  • the church choirs sing off key.
  • it is against state law to sell carbonated beverages.
  • you can steal a chicken on Thursday and get shot on Saturday.
  • if you stare long enough at the horizon, you can see the back of your head.
  • it is the nation's largest consumer of padded bras.
  • natives get nosebleeds going over overpasses.
  • prarie dog mounds are protected as state landmarks.
  • topographical maps double as pool tables.
  • water runs uphill.
  • the state animal is a roadkill.
  • flat jokes are not appreciated.