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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Is the Coast Clear?

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A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife, undoubtedly blonde, picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here," and hung up.

The husband said "Who was that?"

The wife said "I don't know, some lady wanting to know if the coast is clear."