Martha Stewart vs The Real Woman

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  • Martha's Way:
    Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
  • The Real Woman's Way:
    Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
  • Martha's Way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
  • Real Woman's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
  • Martha's Way: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
  • The Real Woman's Way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
  • Martha's Way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up."
  • The Real Woman's Way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad; I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.
  • Martha's Way: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
  • The Real Woman's Way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.
  • Martha's Way: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
  • The Real Woman's Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie box does not say anything about brushing egg whites over the crust.
  • Martha's Way: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
  • The Real Woman's Way: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
  • Martha's Way: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
  • The Real Woman's Way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.

And finally the most important tip...

  • Martha's Way: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze it into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
  • The Real Woman's Way: Leftover wine???