Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Things You Never Hear A Woman Say

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  • Do you think this dress makes me look too slim?
  • You take me out too much, can't we just stay in?
  • A fake one will do.
  • You look stressed out, let me massage your back.
  • Have a night out with your mates, you deserve it.
  • That Pamela Anderson has a lovely body.
  • I hate my Mother.
  • No, no, you buy me too much already.
  • What headache?
  • Put your money away, let me buy the round.
  • Don't get up.  I'll clean the house, you just watch the game and relax.