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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Men's Greeting Cards

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A survey has found that about 90% of all Hallmark greeting cards are purchased by women.

In order to attract more males to buy and exchange greeting cards, the following are some greeting card suggestions created to attract more male buyers.

Cover picture: Dim, misty, moody picture of a vase of roses.
Cover caption: Condolances
Inside caption: ...on the loss of your remote control.

Cover picture: Nostalgic picture of a young couple strolling through a field holding hands.
Cover caption: Darling, as we go into our 10th year together...
Inside caption: I swear I'll leave my wife soon!

Cover picture: Dark moody picture of a vase of roses.
Cover caption: In sympathy, I'm sorry to hear the news...
Inside caption: That you've been beaten senseless again in another bar fight.

Cover picture: Misty photo of a couple embracing and kissing.
Cover caption: To my wonderful wife...I know we've had a little disagreement.
Inside caption: But please don't cut off my shave my head as I sleep tonight!

Cover picture: Photo of two men shaking hands.
Cover caption: Congratulations and the best of luck!
Inside caption: To the installation of your new hair plugs!