Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Yo'Momma - Continued #6

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YO' MOMMA SO FAT...

  • the only time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale!
  • she sat on a camel and flattened its hump!
  • when she sits down she is four feet taller!
  • when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."

Read more: Yo'Momma - Continued #6

Yo' Momma #5

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YO' MOMMA SO FAT...

  • she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up!
  • when she got on the scale, it said "one at a time please!"
  • when she steps on the scale, it said "to be continued!"
  • she wakes up in sections!
  • when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up!

Read more: Yo' Momma #5

Yo' Momma #4

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YO' MOMMA SO DUMB...

  • she stuck a phone up her butt and thought she was making a booty call!
  • she threw a rock at the ground and missed!
  • she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's!
  • she got locked in the supermarket and starved to death!
  • she used bus tickets in a taxi!

Read more: Yo' Momma #4

Yo' Momma Continued #3

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Yo' momma so fat, you could use her thong for a hammock!

Yo' momma so fat, when she walks around town in a red dress, all the kids start yellin "Cool-aid!!! Cool-aid!!!"

Yo' momma is so fat, her pager is a VCR!

Yo' momma so fat, when she got on the scale it said Jenny Craig!

Read more: Yo' Momma Continued #3 

Yo' Momma...Continued #2

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Yo' Momma so OLD, even God calls her mother!

Yo' Momma so FAT, if you measured her height and her width she'd be taller sideways!!!

Yo' Momma so fat, I had to hire me a rodeo clown to distract her when I brought in the groceries!

Yo' Momma is so STUPID, she got hit by a parked car!

Read more: Yo' Momma...Continued #2

Yo' Momma... Continued

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Yo' Momma's so fat...

  • When she sat on the rainbow, skittles popped out!
  • When she walked out of the house, everyone thought there was a total eclipse!
  • When she sweats, she sweats butter.
  • When she sat down, everyone thought it was the destruction of the world.
  • When she sat on a dallor bill, four quarters poped out!
  • When she jumped up, she got stuck in the air!

Read more: Yo' Momma... Continued

Tidbits 6

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Yo'mamma's so fat...

  • When she wears high heals, she strikes oil
  • She's got more rolls than a bakery truck
  • She has her own area code
  • When she goes to the ocean the whales start singing "We Are Family."
  • When she goes running she leaves behind potholes

Read more: Tidbits 6

Tidbits 5

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Yo'mamma is so old ......

  • She has her own autographed copy of the Bible
  • She owes Jesus $1.50

Read more: Tidbits 5

Tidbits 4

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Yo Momma's SO Fat...

she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

she was walking down the street, I swerved to miss her, and ran out of gas.

Tidbits 3

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Yo Momma's SO Fat...

she could sell shade.

when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

people jog around her for exercise.

she gets runs in her jeans.

Read more: Tidbits 3

Tidbits 2

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Yo Momma's SO Fat...

when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Read more: Tidbits 2

Tidbits

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Yo Momma's SO Fat...

when she dances she makes the band skip.

when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.

she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Read more: Tidbits