Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Actual Instruction Labels

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ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.

ON BOOTS CHILDRENS' COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.

ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
Warning keep out of children.

ON A STRING OF CHINESE-MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.