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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Yo'Momma - Continued #6

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YO' MOMMA SO FAT...

  • the only time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale!
  • she sat on a camel and flattened its hump!
  • when she sits down she is four feet taller!
  • when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."
  • when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate!
  • I ran around her twice and got lost!
  • she gets runs in her jeans!
  • I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her!
  • her butt's got its own congressman!
  • no one can talk behind her back!
  • I gain weight just by watching her eat!
  • when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet!

YO' MOMMA SO STUPID...

  • she studied for a drug test!
  • she could trip over a cordless phone!
  • she sold her car for gasoline money!
  • she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
  • she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
  • she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
  • when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put, "O.K."

YO' MOMMA SO OLD...

  • she knew Burger King when he was still a prince!
  • she was a waitress at the Last Supper!

YO' MOMMA SO POOR...

  • when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
  • her face is on the front of a food stamp!
  • when she heard about the last supper she thought she had ran out of food stamps!

YO' MOMMA SO UGLY...

  • she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the whole tree!
  • she made blind kids cry!
  • when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals."
  • she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning!
  • just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

And my favorite of the bunch...

Yo' Momma so ugly she looked in a mirror and her reflection ran away!