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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Jigsaw Puzzle
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to start it."
Her friend asks, "What is it a puzzle of?"
The blonde says, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place.
She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box.
He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger."
The blonde frowns.
He continues, "Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
