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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Blonde Lamborghini

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Okay, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blasting, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes.

To her distress, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper.

The trucker looks back and sees her on his bumper, and motions for her to back off, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back.

Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begins flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his bumper, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road.

The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle around her three feet in diameter on the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she is, she agrees.

The trucker then goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde.

When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the asphalt laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!"

She is laughing almost too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking.....I stepped out of the circle!"