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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

One For The Road

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A blonde woman who had been unemployed for several months finally got a job with Public Works. This was a little old town, so her job was to paint lines down the center of a rural road using a paint brush.

The Supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set minimum of 2 miles per day of lines.

The blonde agrees and starts right away.

The Supervisor checked at the end of day one and found that the blonde had completed 4 miles, double the required average. He was delighted.

The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only accomplished 2 miles. The Supervisor thought, "Well, she's at the average and I don't want to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet."

The third day, the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought, "I need to talk to her before this gets worse."

The boss called the blonde in and said, "The first day you did 4 miles, the second day 2 miles and yesterday only 1 mile. Why? Is there an injury? A problem? Equipment failure? What's keeping you from meeting the minimum 2 miles per day?"

The blonde replied, "Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away from the paint bucket."