Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Pork

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The waitress approached the blonde at table five, order pad in hand. "Good morning. What can I get for you today?" After placing the menu on the table, the blonde stated that she would like a glass of orange juice, some eggs, potatoes and toast.

"Great!" said the waitress, and in an attempt to upsell the blonde, asked, "Would you like some bacon with that today?"

"No, thanks," replied the blonde, "I don't eat pork ...but you know what? I WOULD like an order of sausages, please."