Maineiac

So God brings Clinton, Yeltsin and Bill Gates to his office and says, "Men, I've decided to bring an end to the world this Thursday -- I want you to go back and tell your people."

Upon his return, Clinton holds a press conference and says, "People of America, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that all these years we've been saying 'one nation under God' we've been right -- there is a God. The bad news is he is destroying the world on Thursday."

Yeltsin makes an announcement to the Russian people and say "Brave comrads, I have bad news and bad news. The first bad news is that we've been wrong all these years -- there really is a God. The other bad news is he is going to destroy the world on Thursday."

Bill Gates calls a board meeting of Microsoft. "I have good news and good news!" he tells them. "The first good news is that God called a meeting of the three people he thinks are the most important in the world and I was one of them. The other good news is that OS/2 stops shipping on Thursday."