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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Managed Care
Three nurses arrive at the pearly gates.
St. Peter asks the first why he should admit her. She replies that she has been an emergency room nurse and has saved thousands and thousands of lives.
"Okay," he says, "Come on in!"
The second reports that he has been an ICU nurse and he, too, has saved thousands and thousands of lives. St. Peter lets him in, too.
St. Peter asks the third nurse the same question.
She replies that she has been a managed care nurse and has saved thousands and thousands of dollars for the insurance company.
St. Peter replies, "Okay, come on in... but you can only stay three days."
