Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Control

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Three me were talking in a pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they had over their wives, while the third remained strangely quiet.

After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and said, "Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow said, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked.

The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered, "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.' "