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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Dearly Departed

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An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when the old woman died. The entire family showed up for the funeral, and every day after the funeral the old man would visit the grave with his dog and spend a few minutes out there.

The groundskeeper at the cemetary, after two months of observing this ritual, decided to go talk to the old man.

"Hello there. You know, I see you come out here every day to visit your wife's grave and I just think that so sweet. I was wondering if the dog is something that was special to your wife since you always bring it out here with you."

"No, actually I bring the dog out here to pee on the grave. I'd do it myself, but I'd get arrested for indecent exposure!"