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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Your Kind of Man

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Striking up a conversation with the attractive woman seated beside him on a coast-to-coast flight, a would-be Romeo asked, "What kind of man are you attracted to?"

"I've always been drawn to Native American men..." she replied. "They're in harmony with nature."

"I see," said the man, nodding.

"But, then, I really go for Jewish men who put women on a pedestal, and I can rarely resist the way Southern gentlemen treat their ladies with respect."

"Please allow me to introduce myself then," said the man. "My name is Tecumseh Goldstein, but all my friends call me Bubba!"