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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Talking Clock
A man was showing some friends his apartment.
One guest asked "What's that big brass basin for?"
"That's my talking clock," answered the man.
"Talking clock?" asks the guest "How does it work?"
"I'll show you" said the man. He gave it an ear shattering pound with a hammer.
Suddenly, a voice on the other side of the wall screamed, "Knock it off! Don't you know that it's 2 a.m., you jerk?!"
