Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

The Amazing Claude

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(Thanks for yet another great joke, Margie!)

It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotis do his stuff.

As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.

"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations." He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...."! The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.

Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch until it suddenly flipped off his finger an fell to the floor breaking into a hundred pieces.

"CRAP!" said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the theater.