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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Garage Sale

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I was getting ready for a garage sale one summer day. Since it was so hot and humid out, I decided to stay inside my air-conditioned house and mark the special stickers I had bought for the sale.

I would stick several of them on my blouse, run outside, stick them on the appropriate items and rush back inside. I did this until every item was labeled.

Later that day, a UPS man came by the house with a delivery. I noticed that as I was signing for the package, he was looking at me strangely.

It was only after he left that I noticed there was one sticker still attached to the front of my blouse.

It read "Make me an offer."