Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Louisiana DWI

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A young man was pulled over by the Louisiana State Police for speeding. The officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window. "What chew driving so fast for son? You going to a fahr?. Let me see your license, boy."

The young man handed over his license. Then the officer noticed that the back seat of his car was full of large knives.

The officer said, "Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?"

The young man replied, "Well, sir, I'm a juggler."

The officer spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!"

The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint.

Two miles down the road at Joe's Tavern, Billy Bob was drinking it up with Homer T. Ratcliff. He soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side.

Suddenly Billy Bob spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest phone booth and dialed the number for Joe's Tavern and asked for his buddy, Homer T. Ratcliff.

When Homer got on the phone Billy Bob said, "Whatever you do when you leave that tavern, don't go north on 442. The state police are giving a sobriety test that nobody can pass!!"