Maineiac

YO' MOMMA SO FAT...

• she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up!
• when she got on the scale, it said "one at a time please!"
• when she steps on the scale, it said "to be continued!"
• she wakes up in sections!
• when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up!

• when she goes to cross the street, all the other trucks think she's a truck so they don't stop!
• she drives a "double wide," complete with "wide load" signs across the back!
• when she stepped on a scale, it said "one person at a time!"
• she uses a shovel as a spoon and a rake as a fork!
• when she steps on a scale, it says Slimfast!
• when she wore a yellow jumpsuit, somebody yelled "TAXI!!"
• when she went swimming in the ocean, the whales started singing "We Are Family!"
• when she drives a car, she uses her belly to hit the gas and break pedals!
• she steps on a scale and it says "dinosaurs are exstinct!"
• she doesn't walk - she rolls!
• whenever an airplane runs into her, she says "Who's throwing rocks?!"
• when she jumps up in the air, she gets stuck!

YO' MOMMA SO STUPID...

• she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff!

YO' MOMMA SO UGLY...

• when I took her to the zoo, the lady at the entrance said "Thanks for bringing her back!"
• if ugly were bricks, she'd have her own hood!
• they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!
• she trick-or-reats over the phone!
• the trick was the treat!
• she doesn't need a mask for Halloween!
• she didn't need a mask to rob the bank!

YO' MOMMA SO OLD...

• when she went to school, there was no history class!
• I told her to act her own age and she died!

YO' MOMMA SO POOR...

• when someone closed the freezer door, she said "Who turned off the heat?!"

YO' MOMMA SO GREASY...

• she makes anchovies look bad!

YO' MOMMA'S TEETH SO YELLOW...

• traffic slows down when she smiles!

YOU SO UGLY...

• when you came out of yo' momma, the doctor looked at your butt, then your face, and said "siamese twins!"