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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Reasons Dogs Are Better Than Women
- Dogs don't cry.
- Dogs love it when your friends come over.
- A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
- Dogs don't care if you play with other dogs.
- Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
- Dogs are excited by rough play.
- Dogs love red meat.
- Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
- If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
- A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
- A dog's parents never visit.
- Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
- Dogs know that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
- When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
- Dogs don't hate their bodies.
- No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
- Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
- Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
- Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
- Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than lobster.
- You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
- Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
- Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
- Dogs never want foot-rubs.
- Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
